Chapter 101

The city at night was like lanterns floating on a black sea. It was artificial and sparkling. Here and there, there would be commotions, accidents, and quarrels, but when viewed from a distance, the murmurs merged into one and became inaudible. This was the most beautiful distance.

"...Should I just fly to Busan instead?"

Carrying a tightly packed and full duffel bag and taking the train was perfect for attracting suspicious gazes. Rather than being in that tension for over two hours, he thought it might be better to fly, even if his body would be tired. Either way, the level of exhaustion when he arrived in Busan would probably be similar.

Soram sat on the railing with his legs hanging out. Just thinking about being on high alert on the train like earlier made him feel drained already.

It was sudden and unwanted, but he was indeed a hero. Until now, the things he had aimed for had at least been called actions for a greater cause by people. He had never been looked at with suspicion when requesting something, and he had never experienced sneaking in and running away nervously to avoid people's eyes. Rather, he had to be forcibly placed in front of those gazes and fear the reactions that would come back to him.

He pulled his hood up again and descended to the ground through the dim gaps between the buildings. It was time for people who had evening appointments to get up from their seats one by one. The streets were crowded with people, and Soram blended in among them with the duffel bag slung over one shoulder. Two men who appeared to be in their early 20s walked side by side next to him.

"The department gathering is tomorrow, right? We'll be drinking a ton again."

"Can't we use the excuse that it's scary because the news said rifts are opening up?"

"Would that work? It's not the first or second time they've been talking about the rift crisis. Did they say where the reservation is?"

"Jjak-pae. There's a room on the 2nd floor with two large tables."

"Ah, it's annoying to go back and forth to the 2nd floor bathroom."

The content was fully audible due to the loud voices of the two. They continued their conversation without any sense of crisis.

"What? Why are you looking at me?"

At that moment, one of them frowned and called out to Soram.

"Why, what is it?"

"He keeps glancing at me."

"..."

Instead of answering, Soram pointed his finger at the electronic billboard located behind the man. News was being broadcast about hunters who had been urgently dispatched to the scene eliminating a Level 1 rift that had occurred on the highway before it could become a dungeon.

"Fuck, he was looking at that. Why would he look at you, you idiot? Ah, sorry. This guy is a bit of an attention seeker."

"Ah, well. It was a situation that could be misunderstood..."

The man who had frowned at Soram mumbled something after being scolded by his friend and walked away. Instead of moving his feet, Soram stood in the middle of the electronic billboard.

On the large screen, people Soram knew appeared. Behind Ga-eul, who was breaking the rift with all her might, Ayoung riding on a white puppy brushed past. And Team 1's deputy chief and a few team members... people wearing the same suits eliminated the rift after relentless attacks.

Ga-eul, who had unleashed the most attacks, narrowed her brows for a moment, holding her bluish wrist at the moment when everyone cheered as the rift was eliminated. However, she soon lifted her lips and smiled. The video was short, and the next news soon played.

"―you know. So..."

"...but suddenly that guy to me."

"―..."

Numerous people passed behind Soram, who had stopped. The following news reported that the number of rift occurrences had increased recently. However, among the people staying in the peace that hunters had protected for nearly 10 years, no one seemed to be worried after hearing that news.

The luxury goods and cars they wanted to buy.

Romantic relationships.

Complaints about work life.

Such everyday topics brushed past him.

In his previous life, he seemed to have considered this a sense of reward. However, now that his life had become desperate, something hot like a fever rose in his heart. Its identity was jealousy.

His sense of mission as a hero had disappeared with the beginning of his fourth life. Now, all that was left for Soram was his own struggle to live. It was irritating that other people could easily feel relieved and become peaceful on top of the results he had achieved by struggling so hard.

Why is the extension of life not a given only for me?

'Why only me, why...?'

When someone experiences extreme happiness, their appearance varies from person to person and from time to time. However, when faced with extreme misfortune, it ultimately converges into one thing.

They wish for others to face the same level of misfortune as them. That's what they end up wishing for.

"...Enough."

Soram, tightly gripping the bag, frowned as if squeezing out the dark thoughts. Thinking more about this would only be like sticking his head into a quagmire.

On the other hand, seeing himself with only resentful thoughts filling his head, it seemed he no longer deserved to be called a hero or anything like that.

He understood why the protagonists in hero movies always protected the world from a distant and high place and looked satisfied. There was no place for a hero close to people.

After protecting the world, the battlefield he had fought on was already too far away from the people behind him.

The taxi he hailed took him to Seoul Station. The option of flying 400km with noticeable luggage was impossible from the beginning. And whether he flew or took his own car, the fastest means to take him to Busan was the KTX. There was still some time left until the departure of the train he had booked.

Although he had tried to shake off his thoughts, his sunken mood remained the same.

Even at a late hour, the white platform was full of people coming and going. When he leaned against the wall, listening to the sound of footsteps settling all around as if it were drizzling, his phone rang.

"Who is it at this hour...? Ha."

As soon as he checked the screen, a hollow laugh escaped. How did he call at such timing?

Right. You're the one person I want to leave behind no matter what, and the one I want to save even if I have to die instead. Only you.

The weight of the duffel bag seemed to feel a bit lighter. The finger that had been tracing the other person's name on the screen pressed the call button.

"Han Tae-un."

The other person seemed surprised that Soram answered right away and hesitated for a moment before asking back.

―Jin Soram?

"Why are you confirming again after calling me?"

―...What are you doing?

"Just being."

Soram pressed the end of the phone tightly against his ear. He had to kill time until the train arrived anyway, and hearing Han Tae-un's voice seemed to make his sunken mood a little better.

Ah, come to think of it, there was something that came to mind when it came to Han Tae-un.

"Hey, try calling me Soram-ssi. A bit cheesily."

―What?

"You said I looked like a chaebol's second son at first. Try it with that feeling."

―Why are you suddenly saying that...?

It was indeed a ridiculous dream. In Han Tae-un's voice, it was better to call him 'Jin Soram-ssi’ stiffly with the honorific -ssi attached―actually, the most suitable way was to call him by his title like 'Chief Jin-nim,' but he didn't like that―anyway, the cringeworthy way of address 'Soram-ssi' didn't suit either the person calling or the person being called.

―Is it bearable to stay there?

"Yeah. What about you? Is Ayoung doing well too?"

―Ayoung became a team leader and is making plans to bring you back again. She says she'll never let you out of the jurisdiction again if that happens.

"Wow, that's scary."

―They definitely seem to develop a similar way of thinking when it's just the two of them.

"Huh?"

―It was the thought I had first.

Hmm... Han Tae-un has now learned to make serious-sounding jokes too. Of course, being a boring guy, his voice was still fierce for a joke.

―Does Director Shin Gi-hyeon not bother you anymore?

"Yeah. He's given up on me now. He said they must have dumped me on him because they couldn't handle me at the headquarters."

―I see. Seems like you're having a good time.

Having a good time...

"Well, I wonder about that."

Even if there were a few people who were wary or in awe of him, no one among the people at the Busan Branch genuinely rejected Soram. However, everyone considered Soram an outsider. A person who would stay for a while and then leave. So they didn't expect a sense of belonging from him.

At some point, he himself had also realized it. That he, too, recognized that this was not where he originally belonged.

"I went with all sorts of resolutions, but I didn't expect it to be boring."

―What's boring?

"Just everything."

He was smiling all the time, but he couldn't remember laughing to his heart's content. The last time he had been truly happy was when he heard the news of Ayoung's acceptance.

Every day, with the blue sea spread out in front of him, was filled with tension about when the Great Rift might open up. It was difficult to have a good time in such a place.

"I didn't know, but it seems like everyone in Team 7 was fun people. Even you, being stubborn like a stickler, was funny to watch..."

Hmm. Soram suddenly frowned, looking up at the brim of his hat.

"But... when doing that, why a stickler? You're so persistent... no. Why did this suddenly come to mind?"

―...

"What? Are you not saying anything because you feel guilty?"

―No. I'm just surprised that you... are still aware that you kissed and had sex with me.

Somehow, these words made him a bit fired up. Of course I know we're not in a normal relationship. Who else would I have gone that far with if not you?

"Hey, do you think I have no thoughts or feelings?"

―Then how could a person like that leave without a word? How I felt...

"Ugh, you stickler. Look at this. Again, again, you're holding a grudge like a petty person."

―Wouldn't you hold a grudge if you were me? If I disappeared overnight without any contact like you did.

"...Where would you go!"

―I'm not going anywhere.

"Then what are you..."

After the grumbling, both of them fell silent. In the first place, it was a call made without any specific purpose, and they had already finished all the trivial small talk they could have. Normally, Soram would have said, "I'm hanging up?" and ended the call around this point.

However, there was still some time left until the train, and perhaps because it was a voice he hadn't heard in a long time, he wanted to continue the conversation.

"Hey, Han Tae-un."

―What?

"Say anything."

―What should I say?

"Anything..."

When they were in the office or the dormitory, they could be in the same space without saying anything, but with a phone call, the distance was greatly felt the moment the conversation disappeared.

―Then I have something to ask.

"Yeah. Try asking a question."

―Are you still in Busan?