Chapter 171

Tae-un's hand stroking Soram's hair stopped. His palm broadly cupped the back of Soram's head. White light clusters rose like a swarm of butterflies from the point of contact. The sides of Soram's vision were tinged white.

The throbbing pain that came to his mind grew stronger. He kept looking at Tae-un before lowering his eyelids. Because Han Tae-un was a kind person who could notice pain even from the trembling of his pupils.

Even under closed eyelids, the light was transmitted as an afterimage. It was just like Han Tae-un, finding him until the end even when trapped in darkness.

"Fly freely through the sky."

Before he knew it, his voice had come very close. He couldn't tell if he had collapsed or if Tae-un had leaned in. But Soram bit his lip and focused on that voice amidst the growing pain.

"And."

Yes.

"I love you. Don't ever recall this life again."

A sharp blade cut through his mind and dug in between. The color of pain was white.

He tried to answer what Tae-un had said, but the pain was too great to remember it all. It felt like his brain was being cut into pieces and put back together. In the end, a boiling groan came from his throat. It seemed there had never been anything more painful than this throughout his twenty lives.

But even in this torture-like pain, he didn't think this would fail. Han Tae-un was someone who would succeed at anything he did for Soram.

The end of memories twisted like a long spiral began to burn away. The rest of the memories didn't matter anyway. Soram savored for the last time this life that would soon disappear, and the affection he felt now.

In a life of failures and repetitions, he had still managed to like one person very much. It had been a truly strange life.

Now only three lives would remain in his memory. Experiences of resolving major incidents or approaching some core. But what took priority was.

He had chosen only rounds where Tae-un had saved him and died.

With these memories, I will try by any means to save you. Even if I die, I will try to save your life.

And, the me of the next life will not dare to covet being loved by you.

In that place where we might overcome the Great Rift, I hope you will be very disappointed in me. Because when you love me, you give too much.

If you remain in this life, I will leave behind the me who loved you here too.

At the end of overlapping pain, he felt nothing. In his whitened mind, he repeated and savored only the one phrase Tae-un had whispered.

I love you.

He closed the door of memories of this life, containing all memories and that phrase inside.

That this time with you

Was my magic castle.

The lights of the tightly closed magic castle went out one by one. The magic castle had taken in the boy who had fled to the countryside wearing hospital clothes. The castle gates would never open again, like a kingdom sunk to the bottom of the sea.

I love you.

Soram moved his lips one last time.

"Me too,..."

To whom?

What was he trying to say?

The world collapsed and was reassembled. The white butterflies flying all around shattered into powder.

Freely, doing only what you want, falling asleep when scared...

And, definitely saving at least you...

The world faded to black.

***

"Heuk...!"

The breath entering his lungs stabbed his body like thorns. His lying body heaved up and down greatly.

This was not the 4th life

But the 21st life.

The memories Han Tae-un of the previous life had tied up were revived due to his misjudgment. The rounds that had disappeared were filled in his mind moment by moment. Even the last image erased by the person he had truly loved was revived.

"Ah, aah, ah..."

Memories forcibly rushed into his already saturated mind. He couldn't move a finger with his body completely stiffened.

He felt suffocated as if submerged to the top of his head in a swamp. The ground beneath his feet gave way and he fell into a pitch-black cave. There was no more magic castle to pull him out.

How am I supposed to live with these memories?

How?

The weight of time that rushed in instantly crushed him. Twenty times. As the records of a failure found their places, tears poured endlessly from his eyes. He had no confidence at all in bearing these memories alone and living on. How should he face Han Tae-un who had fallen in love with him the same way in this life?

Save me. Please. I can't do this anymore.

Watching the light in his vision blur and return, Soram prayed desperately. Unknown gray powder floated hazily before his eyes.

The scattering powder had risen from someone's hand stretched out towards him. In that hand was a small stone, almost gone with only a fingernail's worth remaining.

The moment it completely disappeared, his vision became clear. The place where he opened his eyes was not a blood-soaked outpost, but a hospital.

Could it be that his life had ended there and started again?

"No..."

Muttering in a hoarse voice, he grabbed the hand before him. Please tell me it's not true. He wanted to beg even this unknown person to tell him he wasn't 18 years old. He moved his gaze along the arm, searching for the face.

His slowly moving eyes finally reached the jet-black hair.

"..."

The face of the person he most wanted to see yet didn't want to see at this moment came into view. The powder still flying around crumbled with a crunch where their gazes met.

Soram identified its nature.

The mimicry dungeon he had first gone to together in this life. From there...

It was a magic stone that could read thoughts.

Soram's widely opened eyes trembled.

Did you...

"Did, you see everything?"

Air faintly flowed into his blocked airways. The huge burden that seemed about to crush his shoulders gradually shifted to Tae-un's shoulders.

"...You've been, crying and calling me for days. So... no, this is my..."

Do you know about us from the previous life? Do I not have to bear these memories alone?

At that moment, the white light clusters that had long remained inside Soram flowed out. His ability that had been covering the memories entered Tae-un as if finding its place. A stream of water dropped from Tae-un's eyes.

"Soram-ah."

Hearing the call, Soram could be certain. He was the Han Tae-un he had loved in the previous life and the Han Tae-un he had loved in this life.

"I love you."

He gave the same last greeting he had given in the previous life to Soram who had awakened.

Two trembling arms embraced the other as if grasping a disappearing illusion. Relief and despair mixed. For now, there was nothing he could do but desperately cling to his body heat.

Magic Castle Epilogue. Fragment of the 20th Life

He cut the twenty links and covered all but three. Then the three memories exerted their survival instinct and intertwined with each other haphazardly. At the same moment Tae-un felt the elation of success, Soram's body completely collapsed.

Soram went on a journey towards the next life, a journey Tae-un could not follow.

No breath leaked from the lips that looked like they might open and chatter at any moment. Because he was such a fair-skinned person, even his pale face looked just like he was merely sleeping.

After quietly looking at Soram's face, he had to raise his head. The surroundings began to distort. The ceiling of the annex, the walls, the scenery outside the window warped like paint stirred with a brush.

Through the distorted gaps, Tae-un could see the future omitted in this life.

The Great Rift they failed to stop will annihilate the Republic of Korea and spread to neighboring countries. Countries sensing the world's crisis will hurriedly wage an all-out war and barely manage to shatter the monster that swallowed Northeast Asia.

But a few years later, a huge black crack appears on the black ruins. That's probably the 4th Great Rift where beast-shaped mutants pour out. The dungeon that left the biggest trauma on Soram. Knowing he couldn't hear anything, Tae-un still pulled Soram's shoulders tightly into his arms.

The world where Soram had disappeared collapsed, and the images of the future passed by even faster. Perhaps the world had become accustomed to learning that its end was already destined with Soram's disappearance.

The end approached right before him. As he calmly took in the process of everything disappearing to return to 4 years ago, Tae-un suddenly looked down at his hand. The afterimage of the unfamiliar power that had brushed by still remained.

A brief miracle occurred in the process of erasing Soram's memories.

It was impossible to erase the memories left by countless regressions with the power of living just once. When he couldn't erase this life he had left for last, even after burning up all his abilities. At the moment Soram's breath had almost disappeared, a faint passage connected to the next life was created.

He saw himself beyond it. Himself at a similar age to now, preparing to return to college with short hair after being discharged from the military. Himself with no idea he was on the verge of awakening. Tae-un desperately called out to that place.

Han Tae-un!

Han Tae-un, if you want to help Jin Soram, lend me your power right now!

Because the Han Tae-un of the next life must have also wished to help Soram.

Tae-un reading a book raised his impassive face. The power he would have possessed flowed over without hesitation. Tae-un used it to erase Soram's last remaining memory.

The anxious attempt succeeded safely. As long as there were other connected links, it was closer to being covered rather than completely erased.

He no longer felt any ability from his body. He had used up not only this life's ability, but also the ability received from the next life. Perhaps his next self would awaken later or at a lower grade than now.

"...Still, I'm insanely envious of you, so I'll accept that much."

Han Tae-un who would be by Soram's side in a world that could survive. It was unfair and sorrowful that it wasn't himself. The object of his greatest jealousy in his life was himself.

The passage had not yet closed. Then he had words he wanted to convey to his next self.

To have unconditional goodwill towards Jin Soram he would meet someday.

Because he's a person who deserves more than just being loved.

He couldn't do something like sending memories. But if the source of all this was an "earnest wish," couldn't he cling to that?

At this moment, Tae-un wished more desperately than when he first saw the boy on TV.

"Please."

White light clusters that seemed to contain the ability to pull and push something flickered.

Republic of Korea, 2nd Great Rift prevention. (20th time)

Republic of Korea, 3rd Great Rift breakthrough failure.

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2014. 02. 07

Republic of Korea, 2nd Great Rift prevention. (4th? time)

Tae-un had finished dinner with his family and was about to return to the annex when he suddenly stopped walking. The TV was set to the news channel his father had been watching before dinner.

The whole country was in chaos due to the Great Rift incident. Fortunately, the monsters called mutants hadn't come to this rural village. But with schools closed indefinitely and daily news, the fear was palpable.

At least for the past few days, hopeful news had been coming that those who had awakened powers were gaining the upper hand after fierce battles with the monsters. The scenes on the news had also changed from monsters attacking cities to focusing on the activities of people fighting against them.

Soon the screen switched to another front. There, a brown-haired boy was crying. The small-bodied boy pushed aside collapsed debris to save people. He stood against monsters rushing towards the road. Even though fear was visible on his pale face, he didn't back down.

"..."

It felt as if the young blue waves surrounding the boy had poured over him through the screen. Though clearly blue, it was warm.

Tae-un couldn't take his eyes off the screen, forgetting everything he had been doing. He stood there for a long time even after the boy's image had passed. His heart raced for no reason.

"Oh."

He had the illusion of something wrapping around his hand.

"...Um."

He muttered towards his parents who were watching TV with him.

"I want to... go to university in Seoul."

It seemed like he had made some wish at that moment.

5 years later, at 23 years old.

Han Tae-un awakened as a 3rd-grade hunter.

3 years after that, he would re-awaken as a 1st-grade hunter. As if recovering and regaining an ability that had been depleted.