Vol 4 Chapter 44

The man, Jeong Seung-jo, remained silent for a long time even after the message that playback was complete and no other sounds could be heard.

"Why do you..."

After a long while, when Seung-jo unknowingly opened his mouth, suddenly a screen popped up with a foreign young man with dark blonde hair wearing a martial arts uniform.

[ Fuck, finally connected! ]

"...Computer. Disconnect immediately."

Though there was a slight delay in reaction, at the coldly cutting voice, the foreigner showed a triumphant expression.

[ Oh. You can't have your way this time. ]

[ ...The connection for emergency rescue requests cannot be terminated first by the receiver. ]

At the computer's words that followed, Seung-jo turned his head without saying anything, and the foreigner frowned and pointed at him.

[ You... damn bastard. I've been waiting for over a week. Looking at your face, have you started taking drugs now? I contacted you thinking you might be dead... but this is just a zombie. ]

Seung-jo didn't say anything.

[ You hung up like that last time too. Don't tell me you still haven't gone to see him? Even you wouldn't go that far. ]

"...Ben."

[ What. Not in the mood to talk? When have you ever wanted to talk on your own? If that's the case, you might as well pour alcohol down your throat. You seem more normal when you're drunk than when you're sober. ]

"I don't see any reason to hear such words from you."

For a moment, Seung-jo glared at the other with flashing eyes in the darkness, but Ben stared back even more intensely, as if pressing him. After a long, tense confrontation, it was Seung-jo who first turned his gaze away, like darkness retreating with a scream at the approaching light. Seeing this, Ben relaxed his eyes a bit, but still looked exasperated.

[ If you're going to be crazy, go completely mad, or if not, run there right now. What on earth is wrong with you? Wasn't Korea where you went with determination? What made you like this? ]

"Shut up."

[ Seung. Is it because of that? The one who said he wanted to meet you last time... was that your angel boy? ]

At Ben's words, Seung-jo's expression froze coldly as he recalled the recent phone message. To Seung-jo, who said nothing, Ben continued to fire words.

[ Look. To be honest, I have nothing to do with what you've been through, I haven't seen it, and I've only heard a little bit of the story. But that's why I could see something - that a trivial quarrel that could have ended as a petty fight between kids can turn out like this when it unfortunately overlaps with an accident. Frankly, maybe it's because it's someone else's business, but from my perspective, the only conclusion I can draw is that you dragging this out is a foolish act. ]

There was no response, but without waiting for one, Ben continued.

[ It's been 4 years. If you left after hitting rock bottom in America for that time, didn't you leave with some resolve? You didn't go into the game to run away and scare kids, did you? ]

"...What do you know?"

[ Right, I don't know anything, do I? That's why I'm saying this. You're bound to be accused of all sorts of crimes because you never explain any of your actions. You, did you say you wouldn't meet even though that angel boy said he wanted to meet first? ]

"..."

A clicking of the tongue was heard as Seung-jo silently nodded with sharpened eyes.

[ You're crazy, absolutely mad. You've finally lost it completely. What on earth were you thinking? ]

The moment those casually asked words ended, Seung-jo's expression changed to one Ben had never seen before in the past 4 years.

[ ...Seung? ]

The man with that unfamiliar, empty expression that seemed terrible, painful, and as if he had lost something very important, tightly closed his lips, then after repeating the motion of relaxing as if to say something several times, he finally managed to answer in a voice.

"...Because."

[ What are you saying? ]

"Because I saw."

It was a voice as if being squeezed out. Ben's eyes widened at hearing such a voice from Seung-jo for the first time. But what surprised him most was the content implied in those words.

[ You saw?! That...? ]

"I saw, but."

Interrupting himself and continuing, Seung-jo spoke his last words while bowing his head with his dry hands clasped together.

"I saw, but... his leg, he was limping."

For a moment, Ben lost his words as he saw the shoulders of the man who had always maintained a straight back even when rolling in the mud tremble finely.

"I didn't know he would look like that."

[ Seung... ]

"I wished that what I saw wasn't him, but it seems that's not the case."

[ ... ]

"He probably never imagined himself looking like that either. Neither did I. I've never seen him without a sword, unable to run around, not looking confident, even in my fantasies."

In front of Ben, who could only watch without saying anything, Seung-jo's shadowed eyes beneath his covered fingers were blankly wide open, in a posture similar to making a confession.

"Maybe it would have been better if he had died then. If so, at least he would have been at peace, without the pain I didn't know about."

[ I can't hear what you're saying, Seung... ]

"I could have been the only one suffering, like until now. How could I have had such a ridiculous thought that he would be healthy, no different from before, just because he was alive?"

[ Seung. ]

"The sin was entirely mine from beginning to end, so why was he bearing the punishment?"

[ Seung! ]

"Should I not have approached him from the start? Should I not have even thought about it, my feelings? If all of this is because of me, shouldn't I naturally be the one to bear the punishment? But why has reality turned out like this? If the beginning was because of me, shouldn't I be the one to end the pain? ...When I think like that, I want to get up right now and go kill him."

[ Damn it. You've completely lost it. Get a grip! Are you going to have another fit?! ]

"But if I do that, again... ugh, urgh!"