Chapter 168

They had attempted their escape as the sun was setting, and now it was the boundary between evening and night. The countryside village without streetlights was completely dark.

The volcanic ash that had spread from Busan had already covered the sky here. Unable to turn on lights, the two couldn't even receive moonlight, and eventually made a dim light by covering a small stand with thin clothing.

Soram and Tae-un sat facing each other on the cold floor of the living room. Fortunately, the eyesight of 1st-grade hunters allowed them to see each other's faces clearly even with a small light source.

"Earlier... right after you blocked the wave, when I tried to stop your leaking ability, I saw that there was another ability inside you besides the blue mist."

"..."

It was surprising that Tae-un's ability could detect such a thing, but the possibility that he might have two abilities was something Soram had anticipated.

One was his blue mist, which had degenerated haphazardly as time passed to the point of forgetting the original awakening origin.

"One is... probably regression. A damn ability I got without even wanting it."

Soram suddenly took a deep breath and placed his hand on Tae-un's thigh.

"Can you remove it? The regression ability?"

Can I die here with you? Don't I have to go to the next life writhing in agony while ruminating on the memories I shared with you? Soram's eyes, wishing for death, paradoxically shone.

"...No."

But hope was quickly denied.

"That's not your ability, but something placed on you from the outside. I don't think I can erase that."

"From the outside...? Why? Isn't it something that came from me talking nonsense about wanting to be a hero?"

"..."

"Who on earth? What bastard did this to me!"

Tae-un's expression twisted slightly as he watched Soram's excited state. Ah... Soram closed his eyes tightly and pressed his forehead.

"Sorry. It's not like you would know."

"...No. I knew right away."

Soram raised his gaze towards the subdued voice. A hand that had fallen on his back pulled his stiffened body. His cheek rested against Tae-un's shoulder.

"Could such a miraculous thing as turning back and repeating past time really be possible just from one person's desperate wish?"

A hot embrace enclosed Soram. Feeling as if they were floating alone in an empty black void, his eyelids drooped even in this situation.

"Soram-ah."

Tae-un's voice was transmitted lowly from very close.

"When I first saw you, I thought you were the person who would save the world."

"...What exactly are you trying to say?"

"Rifts and dungeons are miracles created by the gathering wishes of people resenting the world, right?"

"..."

"Then... there must be the opposite too."

Soram raised his head from Tae-un's embrace with trembling eyes.

"Your regression was created by a great many people wishing for you to survive. I don't know who they are, but why it was you specifically... I couldn't help but understand."

The corners of his mouth, which had formed a faint smile, trembled. His lowered gaze was filled with guilt.

"The wish of people like me wanting to protect the world gathered on the strongest person with the dream of wanting to save the world."

"..."

He was confused.

Soram cognitively understood the meaning of Tae-un's words. He had shouldered the wishes to protect the world. If the number of regressions had been a dozen or so fewer, he might have liked it, feeling like a chosen hero. But now, even knowing the truth, it felt more like being trapped in a quagmire.

"...Then, do I have to repeat time like this until I save the world? Even knowing it's forever impossible?"

Not just this life, but in the next life when the Great Rift will be stronger, and the one after that, there's no way to save the world from now on.

"Heu..."

Did he have to live until the wishes applied to him finally wore away, desperately praying for the end of eons of time? All the time to come felt like a hell worse than his body burning in lava.

Tae-un heavily embraced the trembling body with both arms. But now, more than the coziness, the sorrow that even the emotions felt from this warmth might someday erode was greater.

"Which round did you say you came closest to resolving the 3rd and 4th Great Rifts?"

Hearing the question, he traced through long memories. It was so long ago it made him laugh hollowly.

"...Was it the fourth? It was when I could use my ability strengthened by regression most effortlessly, and the Great Rift hadn't become fatally strong yet."

His combat skills were of course much weaker than now. But looking back, it was when all conditions were most hopeful. He had barely escaped the lingering attachment to family, and he himself had quite a bit of will and passion. It was after failing in that round that depression began to dig into his mind.

The fourth. Tae-un softly repeated his words. Soon, strength entered his hands.

"Jin Soram, I can't cut off the ability placed on you from an unspecified external source with my power, but I might be able to remove the ability already applied inside you."

"What... do you mean?"

"The twenty links that ability created in your mind, I think my power can reach there."

The dark clouds created by volcanic ash vibrated, making a sound similar to the sea. A greater ripple than the reddish-black sea arose in Soram's heart. What caused the storm were questions, anxiety, and.

"You said the fourth, right?"

It was a very faint hope.

"I'll try to erase the rest of the links, leaving only the three most important memories from the time you've passed through."

"..."

Yes, a life passed with only three memories might perhaps be able to overcome all Great Rifts. If he takes the memories from the round where he acquired a lot of information, the possibility would be much higher.

But soon his heart sank as if hit by cold water.

"What about you? Then what about you?"

Tae-un answered after a brief pause.

"Whatever you choose, I'll definitely erase this life."

"..."

"...In the next life, save the world and be loved as a hero like you wanted. Soram-ah."

"No!"

What he wanted most was to end this life together with him. But if he had to keep living, he absolutely had to take the memories of this life. For the first time in his life, he had become someone's only one and been loved. It was the only round where there was meaning to his existence.

"I'll remember you. How could I forget you? No. I'll live on with the memories of this life."

"Until when?"

He grabbed Soram's shoulders and made him separate his body. The voice that had been affectionate became resolute.

"You're suffering like this even now, how many more times do you think it will repeat? You'll end up regretting it eventually, but will I have this ability then too? You said my ability was different in every life."

"Don't say any more. That's not true..."

"This is the only chance."

Tae-un grabbed Soram's cheeks with both hands as he tried to turn his head away and escape.

"Save the me of the next life."

"..."

While the reflection inside was shaking uncontrollably, Tae-un's eyes were calm.

He, who had always been one step behind, had ruined all time and it was the same this time too. The one who had come to a life that could never smile was too good for him.

Soram couldn't answer in the end. Tae-un, who had advanced much faster than him who had been dawdling, gave Soram emotions he hadn't known before, and even pulled him who was trapped in the prison of time.

That's why, even more, he couldn't say he would erase him.

***

Soram was confused.

In the process of making the decision, there was one more loud exchange, and Soram cried. It was the first time he showed a broken appearance in front of Tae-un. The fact that he, who stubbornly insisted to the end when he had an argument, showed tears meant he knew that in the end there was only one path no matter how much he struggled.

"Don't follow me."

The place he went after warning Tae-un was just the kitchen table. Soram folded his arms on it and buried his face. Tae-un, who remained in the living room waiting for him to sort out his thoughts, looked out the window. The black volcanic ash had come closer to the ground in that time.

Gik―

"..."

After a while, the sound of a chair being pulled was heard. Soram finally showed his face. Walking out with an expressionless face that deliberately hid traces of crying, he nodded for Tae-un to follow.

Soram, who entered the bedroom after opening the door, first sat on the edge of the bed and patted the space next to him.

"Sit."

After following the instruction, there were no more words. Instead, he stared for a long time as if engraving this space and Tae-un in it.

Finally, he covered the back of Tae-un's hand on the bed with his palm.

"If it's the last time, we two like this now will disappear too, right?"

Weight pressed firmly on the back of his hand, and Soram curled his fingers to grip his hand tightly. The throbbing pain was rather welcome.

Soram's face came close. Their lips interlocked as if finding their place. The trembling was fully revealed there, where they couldn't apply firm strength like hands and feet.

This moment of rubbing the body heat on each other's lips with eyes closed felt more intense than the kisses they had clumsily fumbled through before. Soram's two hands came up on Tae-un's chest. His collar was gripped tightly.

"Take the me of this life. I'll leave everything with you."