Chapter 177

As he answered Tae-un's question, he made a different resolution.

Until this life ended, he should stop showing such a pathetic side to him.

Soram accepted the fact that the once-in-a-lifetime chance to save the world and survive had completely disappeared from his hands. He would probably regret it until the very last moment, but he had reached a point where he could hide that in front of Tae-un. While showing a smile like this, as if he had no particular thoughts.

"Since we're at a point where we've seen everything there is to see of each other, I don't mind if you keep looking, but I'm going to finish washing."

Soram turned on the water. Tae-un stayed there for a moment before grabbing the bathroom doorknob again.

"That's a relief. Next time, let's have a real date at the amusement park."

Before he could turn around and open his wet lips, the door closed again.

Soram blankly stared at the spot where Tae-un had disappeared while being showered with water. Even after the footsteps faded away, he couldn't recall what answer he should have given to what Tae-un had just said. It was because of the sense of discomfort given by the word that had briefly passed by.

'Next' time...?

Why did that ordinary word feel so awkward?

He soon guessed the reason. It was because that word had disappeared from within Soram, who had been thinking about the end until just now.

"..."

Tae-un must know well that the end was coming too. But, how could the word 'next' come from the mouth of someone who had seen the 20th round of calamity with his own eyes?

Soram realized then that he hadn't properly looked at him since regaining his memories. He had been so consumed by the shock that hit him and self-pity that he didn't even have time to think about Tae-un right beside him.

When he learned that he couldn't escape from the approaching ending, Soram's reaction was the most ordinary, and cowardly. He collapsed, unable to endure.

Then what about you?

What are you thinking as you stay by my side, and endure the diminishing time?

Soram finished showering and came out. The dormitory that had been dark was now bright. Tae-un must have turned on the lights before leaving. In front of the bathroom were a T-shirt, underwear, and sweatpants. While the woodcutter who peeped at the bathing scene stole the winged clothes, Han Tae-un had laid out new clothes to change into.

Soram put on the clothes and roughly rubbed his hair as he crossed the room. As soon as he set foot in the adjacent dormitory, he sharply inhaled at the scene that appeared.

This time it was déjà vu. Tae-un was sitting at the table in his room, looking at a laptop and documents. Just like he had done while preparing for the Great Rift in the previous life.

"Are you done washing?"

Soram, who had gone in that direction, went around behind Tae-un instead of sitting at any seat at the table. After slowly scanning over the laptop screen and the documents placed beside it, he asked Tae-un.

"Han Tae-un, what are you thinking?"

"What am I thinking?"

"Are you trying to challenge the 4th Great Rift?"

The documents were what Soram had been gathering until about a month ago, full of hope that he could break through the 4th Great Rift. Besides the ones he had left and forgotten in the office, there were also unfamiliar records.

Even without hearing directly from those gruff lips, the answer was already out. Tae-un hadn't given up. He was thinking of clashing breathlessly even knowing that a massive calamity was approaching.

Soram, who had gone through the same process dozens of times with Tae-un and knew the results painfully well, felt his palms growing cold. Tae-un's face, despairing without being able to do anything he had prepared in front of the Great Rift in the previous life, was still vivid.

"These were on your desk, I'm going to look at them a bit. Remember? We talked about analyzing the 4th Great Rift together."

Tae-un had said that to Soram, who was going back and forth to the underground archives until late, and he had agreed.

"...The circumstances now are too different from then."

"What do you want to do?"

Soram rubbed his face.

"I... can't struggle anymore knowing what's coming. In the previous life, I at least thought of going along with you who didn't know anything, but this time it's absolutely impossible to do even one thing."

"Then how do you want to spend the remaining time?"

"Just, with you..."

There was probably only a short time left that could hardly be called remaining time. If so, he wanted to fill himself with even a little more of him, like wishing to get even one more bite of the last meal.

After this time passes, he would be left alone again anyway.

Living constantly alone and detached was completely different from belonging to someone's side once and then being cast out again. Soram knew that when this time with Tae-un ended, even if he was still breathing and his memories continued, he would live in a state equivalent to being dead. Of course, he couldn't afford the luxury of pushing Tae-un away out of fear of loss like before.

He would probably be stuck in that place forever. The shining boy in the news that Han Tae-un had fallen for was no longer there.

And Tae-un pulled Soram's hand.

"It's okay. No one can force you to do anything more. Do as you wish. If that's what you want, I'll stay by your side."

"...Yeah."

"But when I need to go to the training ground or archives, just come with me then. You don't have to do anything."

"Are you really going to do it again? Aren't you scared?"

Tae-un stood up from his seat. Soram's gaze, which had been looking down, naturally rose. Tae-un's face came close. He didn't know why, but it seemed like he was going to kiss him. There was no reason to refuse that. As he gently closed his eyes, their lips overlapped.

His buttocks, gradually pushed back, perched on the edge of the table.

"Ah, yeah..."

Cold.

He sucked in Soram's lips and immediately entered his mouth. His thick tongue invaded familiar places. As the root of his tongue was pressed, sticky saliva mixed in his mouth.

Tae-un's movements were aggressive, and Soram, lacking energy, was soon caught up in his pace. If not for the hand propped on the table behind him, he would have collapsed onto the documents Tae-un had piled up. The movements filled with affection and desire continued. It felt so good that something welled up inside.

The kiss stopped at a smoldering heat before the two became completely heated. Instead, they stayed for a moment with their foreheads and noses touching. Both of their hands were holding some part of the other's body.

"Look at this."

Tae-un whispered in a low voice as he rubbed Soram's eye area with his thumb.

"How can I give up without a fight on a life where you accept kisses naturally and look at me with eyes like this?"

He didn't know what 'eyes like this' meant, but Soram thought nothing could beat the way Tae-un was looking at him now.

"Soram-ah, I've been feeling lately that you're amazing."

"...Why?"

"It's hard to face the Great Rift even with the desire to have you as a driving force, but how many times did you clash with just the wish to save the world?"

"It wasn't because I wanted to save the world, but because I wanted to become the 'person' who saved the world. It wasn't such an altruistic reason."

Soram reached out and wrapped his arms around Tae-un's neck.

"Now I'm done with that too. I just need you."

Tae-un stayed still, embraced by Soram, then lifted him up and sat him on his lap. Soram gripped the clothes on his shoulders tightly with both hands.

"Tae-un-ah."

"Yeah."

"Knowing we'll fail, do we really have to do it?"

Even if we struggle painfully until the end, it will be burned up in vain. Do we really have to feel that pain again?

He had heard that the most blessed death is one that comes while sleeping. Wouldn't it be better to turn our eyes away and wait rather than struggling against the calamity, like that?

Tae-un quietly looked at Soram nestled in his arms. His large hand came up and cupped his cheek. As Soram leaned into the warmth, the hand moved up and down as if kneading dough.

"...?"

Soram's sunken expression turned to question, then his eyes crinkled into slits as the playfulness grew, and his brow furrowed as he became sharp.

"What are you doing?"

"...Pfft."

Though he tried to pretend to be expressionless, Tae-un's mouth twitched before he finally burst into laughter. Soram pushed his hand away in annoyance.

"What's with you suddenly? Why are you like this?"

"Jin Soram."

"What."

Tae-un said, unable to erase his smile.

"Why do I feel like I can do anything every time I confirm that you love me?"

"..."

It was the sound of the strength in his eyes melting away. His hand returned, tapping his nose, upper lip, lower lip. The protruding parts of his face. As if such contact was natural between them.

"I got a bit stronger after my memories of the previous life returned."

"What, showing off your strength unlike you..."

"The ability from the previous life that was imperfectly mixed has now completely melded with this life's ability. Now I fumble much less when using my power than before. The range has doubled, and I think I can apply attraction and repulsion to someone's power itself."

"Ah..."

Considering his 2nd round self who had struggled terribly, it was amazing progress. But it was difficult to add any hope to the future of facing the Great Rift. Nevertheless, his mouth that had grumbled well about other things couldn't bring itself to say, "It will be useless."

Tae-un smiled instead of showing disappointment at Soram's silence.