Chapter 148

26

Greyson just stared at Dane, frozen with his smiling face. The surroundings were simply quiet, as if death had arrived.

...What?

Greyson thought blankly. It felt like someone had hit his head hard with a blunt object. Otherwise, how could his mind be this hazy?

Right, that's it. He barely managed to think. Someone definitely hit my head. That's why I heard such nonsense. It's an auditory hallucination. Right, why would Dane say such things to me? We still have five days left, I told Dane I loved him, and Dane also...

Should like me.

Suddenly his whole body became cold as if doused with cold water. His fingertips tingled, so he hastily repeated clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Ah, sorry."

Greyson hurriedly pulled up the corners of his lips and said.

"My head must be wrong. Did pheromones accumulate? My pheromone levels are higher than average, so I need to extract them often. Oh, did I mention Papa's head is strange? This is confidential, but since you're my lover, it's okay. If you leave pheromones alone, you become like Papa..."

"Greyson."

Dane cut off his words with a sharp voice. In front of Greyson, who had frozen again, Dane slowly lowered the hand that had been covering his face and raised his head. He was looking at Greyson with an utterly desolate expression.

"You didn't mishear, you heard correctly. ...Let's stop now, us."

Had his heart stopped completely? Greyson stared at Dane, unable to even breathe now. Why? Why is Dane saying such things?

What went wrong?

"I love you."

"I know."

Though he confessed his true feelings again in a trembling voice, Dane's answer flowed out too easily. His lips were pulled up as if smiling, but his eyebrows were completely contorted. Dane spoke as if reciting, with a bitter smile that seemed painful.

"You're probably right. I'm the one who's wrong."

Greyson still couldn't understand. He just stared blankly, then belatedly realized.

"Ah, I got it."

Greyson blinked and hurriedly continued.

"I... I'm not your type, right? Huh? Yeah, I'm too big, stupidly big. Th-then how about this? Should I cut my legs? If I cut off this much, I can become smaller too. How about it? Then it would work, right? Huh?"

"Greyson."

"Or is my torso too big? How about cutting my arms this much? Then it would work, if I cut my arms and legs this much each, I wouldn't even be half your size. Then it would be okay, right? If I become smaller than you, if I, if I."

The more Greyson spoke, the more he fell into despair. No matter how hard he tried, nothing would change. Whatever he did, even if he cried and clung to him, he couldn't hold onto Dane.

Because this man doesn't love me.

"If I were..."

Facing Dane's empty face that just looked at him, Greyson opened his mouth.

"If I were small and lovely like Koi, if I were..."

"No, Greyson. You're not at fault. It's not your fault."

Dane shook his head strongly. Even while looking at Greyson's confused face, he found it difficult to find words to explain. Until now, he had never explained to anyone. Good or bad, he would just throw out a simple conclusion and turn around and leave, and everything would end. He had only maintained cheap and light relationships where that was acceptable.

So as not to face someone's sincerity, their whole heart like this.

But it was already too late. Greyson Miller was a man who, despite having so much, treasured a cheap dog treat can so preciously. It would have been better not to know, but unfortunately Dane had found out.

So now he had to end it. This hopeless relationship.

"I'm messed up, from the beginning."

He muttered self-deprecatingly.

"You're different from me. I can't do it."

Dane repeated the same words again and again. To Greyson, who still didn't understand, he confessed like a sigh.

"I'm someone who can't love anyone."

Dane raised his gaze that had been wandering somewhere at his feet and looked at Greyson. He was still smiling, but it looked awkward somehow. Probably because of his contorted eyebrows and eyes. Greyson suppressed his anxious heart and waited for his next words. Dane, who had been rubbing his mouth and chin with one hand, sighed.

"I don't know. What love is, whether it even exists within me."

He lowered his gaze again. With his hand still on his chin, he muttered.

"What I feel for you isn't love. It's closer to pity."

Even so, it didn't matter. Whatever Dane's feelings toward him were, he didn't care. He just wanted to say that he only needed him to stay by his side, that was all he wished for, but Greyson silently endured it. There was no way Dane didn't know such feelings. What he was trying to say wasn't just that. What exactly did he want to say?

Something that could persuade me...

Just when he thought there couldn't be such a thing, Dane finally opened his mouth. Really laboriously, in a low voice as if forcibly digging up and dragging out something buried deep in that abyss.

"My mother was an Omega."

At the unexpected confession, Greyson was momentarily stunned. Silence descended between them again. And in Dane's hollow eyes, he returned to the past.

27

"Dane, why don't you have a dad?"

He came to realize this fact around age 3. The apartment where he lived alone with his mother was located in a slum where all the window glass was broken and gunshots could be heard day and night.

He couldn't remember the name of the kid he played with at all, but he remembered spending time together to relieve boredom during the empty hours when his mother went to work.

That kid, who was 2 years older than Dane, also lived alone with his mother. Though his father was definitely in prison for getting caught selling drugs, he definitely existed. He had boasted that he once went to visit his father with his mother.

Anyway, at that innocent question from his peer, Dane wondered for the first time. That's right, why don't I have a father? His friend said with sparkling eyes.

"Your dad must have gone to prison too."

"The same prison as your dad?"

At Dane's question, he nodded. Then he pointed to a house with his finger.

"That house's older brother sells guns. When I grow up, I'm going to earn money and buy a gun too."

"A gun? Why?"

"I have to rescue dad from prison. You should join me too!"

"Good! We're rescuing our dad together too?"

"Of course. Here!"

His friend held out his hand, dirty with dust and saliva mixed together. Dane readily grasped his hand. Dane's hand was no different. Like adults do, they gripped each other's hands and strengthened their resolve, then returned to the original topic.

"But do you know how to shoot a gun?"

When Dane asked, his friend blinked and answered.

"There's a hole to put your finger in. You put your finger there and do this, like this."

The child wiggled his finger, mimicking pulling a trigger. Dane looked at him with an amazed face.

"Amazing. Me too, me too. I want to buy a gun too!"

"Idiot, you have to save money first."

At his friend's scolding, Dane sucked his finger with a disappointed face and asked.

"Do you have any?"

"I do."

"Where? Where?"

"I'll get some later."

His friend lifted his head arrogantly and said.

"Adults get money when they grow up. Look, Uncle Bill over there just sits there drinking every day, but his pockets are always full of money. Coins this muuuuch..."

"Wooooow."

At his friend's expression, Dane blinked in admiration. With that money, he could buy ten candies from the corner candy store. Since 10 was the biggest number Dane knew at the time, he thought this with conviction.

"Then I can buy a gun when I become an adult too?"

At Dane's question, his friend nodded confidently.

"Of course, let's rob the prison together!"

"Good, very good!"

Dane shouted excitedly. They immediately started making gun shapes with their fingers and shooting at each other.

"Bang bang, bang bang."

"Bang bang, bang bang!"

They were practicing hard when suddenly his friend said "oh" and lowered his hand. Dane, who turned his head after him, soon shouted with a brightly brightened face.

"Mom!"