Chapter 149

"Dane."

She tightly embraced her son who had run to her with joy. His mother briefly frowned at the child's dirty face covered in dirt, but soon spoke nonchalantly.

"Did you play well? Are you hungry? Let's go inside and eat."

She went up the stairs holding a paper bag with a few vegetables in one hand and her son's hand in the other. Dane waved to his friend who was left alone and went into the apartment.

Thin soup with vegetable scraps floating in it and bread was the meal they often ate. Dane's mother didn't have a steady job, so her income was meager, and because of this, she lived with difficulty, dividing and subdividing what little money she had. The fortunate thing was that her son wasn't particularly picky.

"Come on, eat up."

His mother, who had boiled the soup and set it down with bread, sat in the seat across from the table. Dane tore the bread, dipped it in the soup, put it in his mouth, and smiled broadly. At her son's admirable appearance, his mother smiled affectionately and stroked his head.

"I love you, Dane."

"Me too. I love you, Mom."

They smiled at each other across the small, old, scarred table.

* * *

"She was a good person, my mother."

Dane continued in a tone where almost no emotion could be felt.

"Even though circumstances were difficult, she did her best to raise me. She constantly told me she loved me and gave me kisses generously. When she went out to work, she would hug me so tight it felt like my body would burst. I waited for my mother all day, but it was okay. When she came back, I became happier than the time I had waited. Even now I think, she wasn't a perfect mother, but she was at least a decent mother."

A bitter smile spread across Dane's face.

"If only she hadn't drunk."

* * *

"Aaaaaaahhhhh!"

His mother screamed and threw things from the table wildly. At the sight of her hitting her head against the wall and screaming, Dane crouched in a corner and burst into tears.

"M-Mom, Mommy..."

No matter how much he called, she didn't return to being the usual affectionate mother. Instead, she glared at Dane with bloodshot eyes and started punching wildly.

"It's because of you! Because of you!"

"Mommy, Mommyyy..."

"If only you hadn't existed, if you, if you just hadn't been born...!"

Thud, thud, loud sounds echoed. Dane covered his head and tried to curl his body as much as possible to avoid the beating, but it wasn't enough to block the pouring violence. The beating continued all night long. Until she collapsed on the floor drunk and fell asleep. By then, Dane was usually unconscious from exhaustion too.

When dawn broke hazily and Dane regained consciousness first, he led his heavy body, swollen and bruised all over, blinking eyes that wouldn't open properly, toward the bed. He pulled over the old sheet to cover his mother's body and carefully crept into her arms, then belatedly felt pain all over his body. But Dane closed his eyes and desperately pressed his body against his mother's. And he forced himself to sleep, waiting only for his mother to wake up. Because then his mother would return to being the woman who loved Dane as usual.

"Dane...!"

As expected, when she opened her eyes, she first checked her child in her arms and burst into tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Dane... I'm sorry."

His mother, who apologized repeatedly and showered him with kisses, looked into Dane's face and said.

"You know how much I love you, right?"

Yes, Dane nodded. He wanted to cry from the pain, but he desperately held back. Because this moment when his mother held him like this and told him she loved him was so happy. And holding his side that hurt every time he breathed with his hand, he saw off his mother going to work. He couldn't go outside for a while now. Since it was already a familiar routine, Dane didn't think much of it. He just had to take the medicine his mother gave him and sleep. After swallowing the medicine and water as usual, Dane lay on the bed and closed his eyes. The daily routine that had been repeated many times continued once again.

* * *

Greyson looked at Dane, pale as a sheet. He couldn't believe what he had heard. He checked Dane's expressionless face directed at him once more. There was no sign of joking or lying at all.

"...You were beaten?"

He barely managed to say these words. Greyson, who couldn't continue speaking while pressing his forehead with one hand, just opened and closed his mouth before finally making a sound.

"Your mother, she hit you? A child not even 10 years old...?"

"There's nothing so surprising about it. It was common where I lived."

Dane replied indifferently. At the reaction so contrasting with his own, Greyson was stunned once again. So that's how it was. Past events came to mind in his dazed head. That's why Dane had asked him so many times.

Whether Ashley Miller had hit him.

"Un-until when, how much."

Greyson stammered unusually. I want to kill her. Greyson felt a more intense desire than ever before. He couldn't suppress the urge to find the woman who had hit and hurt Dane right now and strangle her.

Pheromones full of hostility flowed from his entire body. But it was a meaningless act. Dane was continuing to speak in the past tense. That meant probably, she was...

Thinking that far, Greyson released his tightly clenched fists in futility. The thick pheromone scent that had been wandering around also became faint in an instant.

Dane looked at him with an unfamiliar feeling and answered.

"Until about 4th grade? I was much bigger than my peers and grew fast."

Dane chuckled as if recalling the past.

"It means the time to rebel had come."

* * *

"Stop it already!"

Dane shouted with veins bulging in his neck. He was sick of it now. Once again, his mother was drunk and causing a scene. Before the bruises from the last beating had even faded, Dane had his hair grabbed and his cheek slapped.

"Fucking bastard, dirty kid! If you hadn't been born, if you, if only you hadn't existed!"

"I said stop it!"

Dane shouted until his voice was hoarse and pushed his mother with all his strength. Perhaps because she was drunk, she staggered backward. Her face, flushed red from alcohol, was frozen as if confused. Even though she was dead drunk and not in her right mind, she seemed quite shocked that her son, who had been docile until now, had pushed her away. Dane looked at her blank face and shouted again.

"You're going to wake up tomorrow morning and babble about loving me again! Stop it, I'm too tired now too!"

Then tears mixed into his voice.

"Can't we, can't we also live like other families? Can't you love me like other parents do? Can't I also live normally, like other kids?"

The bodies of many children he met at school were fine without any traces of beatings. Only Dane had bruises all over his body every single day without fail. Even his friend's father who had been to prison didn't beat his child, so why me.

Why only me.

"Mother, please love me..."

Like other kids.

Just as he said this pleadingly.

"Kuk, kuk kuk, kuk kuk kuk kuk."

His mother laughed, shaking her shoulders. At the unexpected reaction, Dane blinked in confusion. She giggled and muttered.

"Looove? You want me to love you? You?"

Then she frowned and asked.

"Whyyy should I do thaaaat?"

At the heavily slurred pronunciation, Dane opened and closed his mouth before answering.

"Because you're my mom..."

"What?"

Then she burst into loud laughter. Ahahahaha, ahahahahaha, aahahahahaha. The sharp laughter felt like it would tear his ears. When Dane contorted his face and covered one ear, his mother, who had been bending over laughing, barely stopped laughing and asked.

"Why should I do that?"

Strangely, for the first time, her mind, which had been completely drunk until then, felt clearly focused. Her pronunciation was also clear. When the confused Dane blinked, his mother asked with a snicker.

"That's ridiculous, isn't the idea that parents should love their children also just a prejudice?"

Kil kil kil, kil kil kil kil. She shook her shoulders and laughed again. She was mocking Dane. Dane, who clenched his trembling hands tightly, asked between gasping breaths.

"Then why did you give birth to me?"

His vision became hazily blurred. At Dane's choked voice, she answered.

"You came into existence on your own."

Dane could no longer say anything. His mother drank again, shouted, smashed things, and collapsed on the floor to sleep. Dane just looked down silently at her as she slept, snoring. He didn't bring a sheet as usual, nor did he crawl into her arms.

<You came into existence on your own.>

Her words kept echoing in his ears. Suddenly his vision seemed to turn white, then his sight became clear. But that was only for a moment; soon his eyes became hazily blurred again.

Drip, drop, the falling droplets hit the floor. He raised his arm to wipe his eyes, but the tears didn't stop and continued to flow. Sob, sob. Whimpers leaked through his clenched teeth. He stood there crying like that for a long time.}}

</thinking>

<english_translation>

{{Chapter 148

"Dane."

She tightly embraced her son who had run to her with joy. His mother briefly frowned at the child's dirty face covered in dirt, but soon spoke nonchalantly.

"Did you play well? Are you hungry? Let's go inside and eat."

She went up the stairs holding a paper bag with a few vegetables in one hand and her son's hand in the other. Dane waved to his friend who was left alone and went into the apartment.

Thin soup with vegetable scraps floating in it and bread was the meal they often ate. Dane's mother didn't have a steady job, so her income was meager, and because of this, she lived with difficulty, dividing and subdividing what little money she had. The fortunate thing was that her son wasn't particularly picky.

"Come on, eat up."

His mother, who had boiled the soup and set it down with bread, sat in the seat across from the table. Dane tore the bread, dipped it in the soup, put it in his mouth, and smiled broadly. At her son's admirable appearance, his mother smiled affectionately and stroked his head.

"I love you, Dane."

"Me too. I love you, Mom."

They smiled at each other across the small, old, scarred table.

* * *

"She was a good person, my mother."

Dane continued in a tone where almost no emotion could be felt.

"Even though circumstances were difficult, she did her best to raise me. She constantly told me she loved me and gave me kisses generously. When she went out to work, she would hug me so tight it felt like my body would burst. I waited for my mother all day, but it was okay. When she came back, I became happier than the time I had waited. Even now I think, she wasn't a perfect mother, but she was at least a decent mother."

A bitter smile spread across Dane's face.

"If only she hadn't drunk."

* * *

"Aaaaaaahhhhh!"

His mother screamed and threw things from the table wildly. At the sight of her hitting her head against the wall and screaming, Dane crouched in a corner and burst into tears.

"M-Mom, Mommy..."

No matter how much he called, she didn't return to being the usual affectionate mother. Instead, she glared at Dane with bloodshot eyes and started punching wildly.

"It's because of you! Because of you!"

"Mommy, Mommyyy..."

"If only you hadn't existed, if you, if you just hadn't been born...!"

Thud, thud, loud sounds echoed. Dane covered his head and tried to curl his body as much as possible to avoid the beating, but it wasn't enough to block the pouring violence. The beating continued all night long. Until she collapsed on the floor drunk and fell asleep. By then, Dane was usually unconscious from exhaustion too.

When dawn broke hazily and Dane regained consciousness first, he led his heavy body, swollen and bruised all over, blinking eyes that wouldn't open properly, toward the bed. He pulled over the old sheet to cover his mother's body and carefully crept into her arms, then belatedly felt pain all over his body. But Dane closed his eyes and desperately pressed his body against his mother's. And he forced himself to sleep, waiting only for his mother to wake up. Because then his mother would return to being the woman who loved Dane as usual.

"Dane...!"

As expected, when she opened her eyes, she first checked her child in her arms and burst into tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Dane... I'm sorry."

His mother, who apologized repeatedly and showered him with kisses, looked into Dane's face and said.

"You know how much I love you, right?"

Yes, Dane nodded. He wanted to cry from the pain, but he desperately held back. Because this moment when his mother held him like this and told him she loved him was so happy. And holding his side that hurt every time he breathed with his hand, he saw off his mother going to work. He couldn't go outside for a while now. Since it was already a familiar routine, Dane didn't think much of it. He just had to take the medicine his mother gave him and sleep. After swallowing the medicine and water as usual, Dane lay on the bed and closed his eyes. The daily routine that had been repeated many times continued once again.

* * *

Greyson looked at Dane, pale as a sheet. He couldn't believe what he had heard. He checked Dane's expressionless face directed at him once more. There was no sign of joking or lying at all.

"...You were beaten?"

He barely managed to say these words. Greyson, who couldn't continue speaking while pressing his forehead with one hand, just opened and closed his mouth before finally making a sound.

"Your mother, she hit you? A child not even 10 years old...?"

"There's nothing so surprising about it. It was common where I lived."

Dane replied indifferently. At the reaction so contrasting with his own, Greyson was stunned once again. So that's how it was. Past events came to mind in his dazed head. That's why Dane had asked him so many times.

Whether Ashley Miller had hit him.

"Un-until when, how much."

Greyson stammered unusually. I want to kill her. Greyson felt a more intense desire than ever before. He couldn't suppress the urge to find the woman who had hit and hurt Dane right now and strangle her.

Pheromones full of hostility flowed from his entire body. But it was a meaningless act. Dane was continuing to speak in the past tense. That meant probably, she was...

Thinking that far, Greyson released his tightly clenched fists in futility. The thick pheromone scent that had been wandering around also became faint in an instant.

Dane looked at him with an unfamiliar feeling and answered.

"Until about 4th grade? I was much bigger than my peers and grew fast."

Dane chuckled as if recalling the past.

"It means the time to rebel had come."

* * *

"Stop it already!"

Dane shouted with veins bulging in his neck. He was sick of it now. Once again, his mother was drunk and causing a scene. Before the bruises from the last beating had even faded, Dane had his hair grabbed and his cheek slapped.

"Fucking bastard, dirty kid! If you hadn't been born, if you, if only you hadn't existed!"

"I said stop it!"

Dane shouted until his voice was hoarse and pushed his mother with all his strength. Perhaps because she was drunk, she staggered backward. Her face, flushed red from alcohol, was frozen as if confused. Even though she was dead drunk and not in her right mind, she seemed quite shocked that her son, who had been docile until now, had pushed her away. Dane looked at her blank face and shouted again.

"You're going to wake up tomorrow morning and babble about loving me again! Stop it, I'm too tired now too!"

Then tears mixed into his voice.

"Can't we, can't we also live like other families? Can't you love me like other parents do? Can't I also live normally, like other kids?"

The bodies of many children he met at school were fine without any traces of beatings. Only Dane had bruises all over his body every single day without fail. Even his friend's father who had been to prison didn't beat his child, so why me.

Why only me.

"Mother, please love me..."

Like other kids.

Just as he said this pleadingly.

"Kuk, kuk kuk, kuk kuk kuk kuk."

His mother laughed, shaking her shoulders. At the unexpected reaction, Dane blinked in confusion. She giggled and muttered.

"Looove? You want me to love you? You?"

Then she frowned and asked.

"Whyyy should I do thaaaat?"

At the heavily slurred pronunciation, Dane opened and closed his mouth before answering.

"Because you're my mom..."

"What?"

Then she burst into loud laughter. Ahahahaha, ahahahahaha, aahahahahaha. The sharp laughter felt like it would tear his ears. When Dane contorted his face and covered one ear, his mother, who had been bending over laughing, barely stopped laughing and asked.

"Why should I do that?"

Strangely, for the first time, her mind, which had been completely drunk until then, felt clearly focused. Her pronunciation was also clear. When the confused Dane blinked, his mother asked with a snicker.

"That's ridiculous, isn't the idea that parents should love their children also just a prejudice?"

Kil kil kil, kil kil kil kil. She shook her shoulders and laughed again. She was mocking Dane. Dane, who clenched his trembling hands tightly, asked between gasping breaths.

"Then why did you give birth to me?"

His vision became hazily blurred. At Dane's choked voice, she answered.

"You came into existence on your own."

Dane could no longer say anything. His mother drank again, shouted, smashed things, and collapsed on the floor to sleep. Dane just looked down silently at her as she slept, snoring. He didn't bring a sheet as usual, nor did he crawl into her arms.

<You came into existence on your own.>

Her words kept echoing in his ears. Suddenly his vision seemed to turn white, then his sight became clear. But that was only for a moment; soon his eyes became hazily blurred again.

Drip, drop, the falling droplets hit the floor. He raised his arm to wipe his eyes, but the tears didn't stop and continued to flow. Sob, sob. Whimpers leaked through his clenched teeth. He stood there crying like that for a long time